SE Asia Day 3: Siam Square

After a couple nights in the backpacker central near Khao San Road, I decided to move to a different part of Bangkok.  I wanted to see the newer, modern side so I packed my things and headed toward Siam Square.  I was going to take a water taxi up a canal, but couldn’t find the stop near where I was staying.  So, I grabbed a cab and headed out.

Siam Square is the area where many of the skyscrapers, malls, and trendy restaurants are.  I heard about a placed called the Atlanta Hotel, near Siam Square.  The hotel is known for its retro decor and for policy that “Sex Tourists are not Welcome.”  It sounded like a business I wanted to support since I was going to be in an area where sex tourism is big business at night.

They were a little expensive—about 500 baht per night—but its a good price for the area.  I spent some time hanging at the pool—which was a great way to cool off after my hike there.  I got lost trying to find the entrance to the soi that the Atlanta was on, so I was more than read for a dip when I arrived.  It reminded me of something I saw in the show Mad Men.  This place was definitely designed in the 60s. 

Its quaint that they haven’t really updated the lobby in fifty years but I found a few things off-putting.  They have many policies that can best be described as smug.  I understand their policy against sex tourists.  They explain that they likely assume that Thai people in the company of westerners are prostitutes and that service will be refused.  Okay, fine.  The thing is, these warnings are EVERYWHERE:  in the rooms, in the hallways, in the lobby, on the taxi cards, and on the front door.  Having a sign on the front door is enough.  In addition to that, there were signs explaining that since Atlanta is a budget hotel, they don’t take complaints--only “constructive criticism.”

Now, some of that may be in jest, but the whole impression created is, "You’re one of the fortunate few to get to stay at the Atlanta, and we have relatively low prices, so you have nothing to complain about.”  In addition to their stated policies, the place just wasn’t at clean nor the staff as attentive at either of the backpacker dives I stayed at the previous two nights.  Every time I came to the desk, the attendant seemed put out to have to help me, and once I had to awake the clerk from a nap.

As the evening drew near, I decided to head into Siam Square to have some dinner and catch a movie.  I took the Skytrain.  The Skytrain is an elevated train with a couple lines in downtown Bangkok.  Its fast, and clean, and easy to use.  The closest stop is Phloen Chit (E2).  Its a bit of a hike from the Atlanta, but much cheaper than a cab.

I went to the National Stadium stop and to the MBK Center.  MBK Center is a huge mall.  I grabbed a bite at a really overpriced food court and watched a movie.  Here’s a karaoke booth near the mall.  These were crammed with young Thais waiting for their movies to start.

Below are a few pictures from billboard I saw in the Skytrain station.It’s for Vaseline Healthy White Skin Lightening Lotion!  I guess its the opposite of a self-tanner.  Just as I was surrounded by Thai people and thinking how beautiful their skin complexion is, here is a company telling them that they should be whiter, and that they have the product to do it.

Avon Makeup in Geoje

So I moved closer to the center of town about a week and a half ago.  On my way to work today, I noticed a really funny picture.  It was a very large sign on a very small office for Geoje Avon.

The sign features a beautiful Caucasian--maybe Latina model.

I might suggest a motto for the Geoje franchise of Avon.  It may be too forward, but it would definitely fit with the theme of using western models to sale makeup to Asians: Buy Avon, It'll Make You Look White.

I also noticed an interesting similarity with a certain movie poster.  Pardon my lack of Photoshop skills--or in this case, Paint.NET skills.

I worked at a movie theatre when The 40 Year Old Virgin was released.  When we put the poster up, the look on Steve Carrel's face would make me laugh every time.  Geoje Avon's sign is almost as hilarious.  Thanks Korea.

Cult Fresh Meat mmmmm!

Cult Fresh Meat mmmmm!

A Great Election Poster

I love politics.  Korea just finished their presidential election back in January.  Now, they are slowly campaigning for regional and local elections.  Here is my favorite election poster.

This guy is showing power with his fist.  However, he's also trying to show his wisdom through the look on his face.

Anyone know what the campaign slogan is?

Photo by Sabrina

This is "communist" China

Annoying

Last summer, during my first few forays into the Korean airwaves, I was greeted with a very annoying Sunkist commercial. The commercial featured two Korean pop stars dueling for the affections of the same girl. The guys are part of K-pop duo Fly to the Sky. The first guy is Hwangee and the dark-haired guy is American-born Korean pop star Brian Joo. Oh, and Brian, if you do read this, you should know better. Why do you add that extra syllable on the end of "lemonade?"




This summer's version of the ad campaign stars Heechul and Kangin in what must be the the biggest boyband of all time (size not necessarily popularity). The guys are with Super Junior, a Korean pop group that has 13 members! (For those of you counting, Canadian supergroup Broken Social Scene has 19 members, but keep in mind they write their own songs and play their own instruments.) Anyway, here are the two commercials. They're exponentially more annoying than the one from last year. (BTW the "CF" in the title is Konglish for "commercial film" AKA commercial).








I'm dreading what Sunkist comes up with next year.

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Links
A fellow English Teacher-Blogger wrote a post about the same ad campaign

200th Post

I've been crawling toward this milestone for a couple months now. I'm 10 1/2 months into my time in Korea, and I've come to my 200th post. It comes on my last day of school before the summer recess. Above is a map of all of my visitors since August as counted by Google Analytics.

In the previous 199 blog posts, I discussed having:

• endured attacks of culture shock
• dodged the awful Korean drivers
• eaten dog, whale, and a 개불 (gay-bool), a seaworm which literally translates "dog penis"
• gotten involved with a church for foreigners
• dealt with never-ending bureaucracy
  
• accidentally recreated a scene from my favorite comedy show, Arrested Development
  
• given blood, sweat, and tears (not in that order)
  
• traveled to Taiwan and Japan (going again this Sunday)
  
• watched bizarre Korean commercials
• survived the Hwangsa
  
• discovered a new life form

I also wrote in the following blog series:

• Driving and Parking
  
• Product Reviews
• Office Supplies
• Fake Brands
  

I'll be blogging through the summer and into September. In late September I'll be launching Wellbeing Joshua, a site to bring together this personal blog, with a Konglish-a-day blog to help native English speakers learn quirky Korean-style English.

Wentworth Miller does another Korean commercial

After his huge splash in Korean advertising this spring, Wentworth Miller is following up with ad for a Korean coffee ad. At least the English in this ad isn't bad. Daniel Henny was in a few ads here for Taster's Choice "Wellbeing Milk Coffee."

Bean Pole: The Grandaddy of Fake Korean Brands

Pop Quiz: What do these two people all have in common?

A. They are both British
B. They are both Academy Aware winning actors
C. They are both models for the fake Korean brand Bean Pole International.

Okay that was kind of a no-brainer. While Paltrow enjoys her British accented roles, she is American, and Miller hasn't won an Oscar.

When I first arrived I was confused when I saw the first ads for Bean Pole International. These ads starred Gwenyth Paltrow, and a Korean looking guy making statements that barely made sense, while walking on what appears to be a London streets. Was this some British company I have never heard of? But the ad looks Korean--they purposely had used a Korean actor to star opposite Paltrow.

Well, a little investigation has turned up that Bean Pole, is 100% Korean. Like Polham, it uses western people in its ads, uses an English name, and by all appearances seems to be British. See below. (The subtitles are not in the actual commercial but were added by whomever uploaded the video to Youtube).

The guy in the above commercial is Daniel Henney. He is an American of Korean descent. While few Americans have heard of him, he's huge in Korea.

Then this spring, Korean news was very excited about Prison Break's Wentworth Miller's coming to Korea. Prison Break is pretty big here in Korea, and as you can see from the video, so is Miller. He is the spokes model for Bean Pole Jeans. Below is a video from the press conference. I love the reaction when he speaks a few words of Korean. Warning: turn down the volume or you may experience hearing damage from the sound of hundreds of Korean women screaming in unison.

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External Links:
Bean Pole Homepage
Bean Pole International Homepage

Polham the Justifiable

Pop Quiz:

Fill in the blank: Polham the Justifable is ___________.

a. the name of an emperor or the Byzantine Empire
b. the name of a Korean clothing brand
c. the name of one of the Avignon Pope during the 2nd Great Schism

If you chose "A" you'd be wrong! Polham the Justifiable, or just Polham is the name of one of the "fake" Korean brands. Polham is marketed as a western brand with White models, English galore in signs and slogans, but it is 100% Korean.

Below is their store in Gohyeon. This storefront used to host a Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits until it shut down and was converted to a retail clothing store in less than two weeks.

The man above stands in stark contrast to the "image" the Polham is attempting to project. Polham's clothes and marketing techniques seemed to have been ripped from the pages of Abercombie & Fitch's play book.

Pale, white, beautiful people are the norm in Polham advertising.

Seriously, what do these shirts mean:

"Bones and Fragment."
"Bones and Fragment The Mortality of the Soul."

Fake Brands: Introduction

Taking a short break from my sporadic series on Driving and Parking in Korea, I want to introduce a new topic: fake brands. Now the very idea of a brand is artificial. Its a name, symbol or whatever that is used to bring association to something. There are professionals whose only job is to create and develop "brands."

In America, we have brands that exude a certain image. The Marlboro Man portrayed rugged manliness and the Abercrombie & Fitch brand portrays young, half-naked people. These brands presented a false image, but one that was not too far from the target demographic: Marlboro cigarettes are still smoked mostly by men, and Abercrombie clothes are worn by young, half-naked people.

In Korea, brands are marketed as western, but are entirely oriental. Now, we can maybe be accused of this in America, but I think we are more aware. For example we know that Taco Bell isn't really Mexican and that Olive Garden isn't really Italian. However, some of these Korean brands look real enough to fool even the most discerning consumers. They have ads mostly in English, have white models--even spokespeople, and Western sounding names.

Below is what I would call an "authentic brand." This brand is undeniably Korean. The ad is from a Korean company, the product is uniquely Korean (a fridge with the sole purpose of storing kimchi), and the actors are Korean. (Don't get me started about their slogan though: "Well-being life."

People Profiles: Park Hojun

Hi. My name is Park Hojun. I like to cut hair and I'm a ninja. Oh, and I'm straight.

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Picture taken of a Geoje hair salon.

Why Google isn't big in Korea

I've thought long and hard about Google and why it doesn't have a presence here in Korea. Despite the fact that Google is the biggest search engine in the world, and individually in most countries, Google isn't well-used here. They do have two good home-grown portals in Daum and Naver, but I don't understand why Google isn't making more of an effort here.

One thing I hate about Google in Korea is that is loves to change the display language on its sites based on my IP. This is a real annoyance actually. The biggest problem is when I log into Blogger. Even though I'm using an English OS, English browser, and even though my account has English as its default language, it loads half of the time in Korean. Blogger doesn't include an easy way to change language once you're logged in.

Today, I was trying out the Korean search engines to see what the appeal was. I was overwhelmed by the sites. Flashing pictures, animated ads, and links galore. Compare Google's first page with the Korean search engines:

The image above shows Google and its clean and simple homepage.

Naver, (pronounced nay-ver) is the #1 Korean search engine.

Daum, the #2 Korean portal. In 1994, Daum bought American search company Lycos. The homepage has ads galore. It even does the favor of putting ad ad in the search bar when the page first loads! See a close up below:

Maybe the reason that Google isn't doing so well here in Korea is because maybe the Koreans like all the flashing, bright, clutter.

Koreans say things the strangest way...

This is an example from series of commercials for a loan. These quick loan places are becoming pretty popular so Koreans can get more stuff. The interest rate on them can be ridiculous. In this commercial, its not what they say that's weird its how they say it.

Another strange commercial..

I was left speechless by an ad I saw on TV. Luckily, I found a video on YouTube. For another strange Korean commercial, check this post

The Most Inappropriate Informercial Ever

I am a aficionado of infomercials. In America, I'd often watch hours back to back. I see them as unintentional satire of consumerism. Maybe this is my great treat for being up watching Maury Povich on Korean TV at 3:30am. Right after an entire episode featuring those paternity tests, was the Most Inappropriate Infomercial Ever.

If you were just glancing at the commercial, you might thing the infomercial was for life insurance--or a long distance telephone ad. There were many video clips of people spending time together and bowing toward one another. Then, they show a procession of black limousines followed by a banquet with servers in traditional garb. I think, oh maybe its for a wedding planning service.

Then, they flash on screen that the product is payable in 120 month installments of W 19,500 (right about $20). That really confused me. I thought, what could people want to buy that they'd pay for ten years. Then, they show a family gathered around a grave.

The infomercial, was for a funeral service! After the video montage, the customary three salesmen appeared on screen (Korean infomercials always feature three people pitching the products standing side by side). Their pitch was punctuated with the dings, and the flashes that would accompany a pitch for a loan service, or floor cleaner, or seafood delivery service. I have to say, that it was easily the most inappropriate infomercials ever.

I don't think that song fits...[updated]

So there's this commercial that plays--I can't say exactly what it is advertising though. Anyway, the song in the background has a beautiful woman's voice. I never really listened to the song until today. "I've got a mandolin/I play it all night long/It makes me want to kill myself." The song is called "100,000 Fireflies" and was originally sung by The Magnetic Fields.

In the ad a woman is setting a table and is placing a candy on this rice bar (these are very bland, chewy snacks made out of mashed up rice pressed together with very little flavor). The line, "want to kill myself" plays just as she looks up at the camera with a huge smile on her face. If she only knew what the song was saying.

UPDATE: I have found the video on youtube. Enjoy!