The Heat is Getting to Me...

The weather in Geoje had been humid since mid-June. But when I walked out of my house on Tuesday, it was something more. Something that we can’t adequately express in English. The air was thick with what looked like light fog, but it wasn’t cool like it usually is when fog is around. And it didn’t have that brownish twinge and chemical odor that smog has either. This was something different.

The air was so moist and hot that it was condensing on my skin the instant I set outside. I knew this was condensation and not sweat because I had been in the air conditioning all night and I wasn’t hot enough to begin sweating. No, this was condensation. Like that puddle the forms around a cold glass of water, or when you grab a can of beer from the fridge and its already dripping water onto the floor by the time you get it back to your chair. Except, instead of a cold aluminum can, it is my skin doing the condensation.

The air was so humid that I imagined, if a person were light enough, they might be able to swim through it. The image of my kindergarten students jumping up and swimming through the sky came to me. In their little summer tank tops and sandals, they’d kick their pudgy legs and gain altitude. The air was so moist that.

I imagined that a slight change of physics—like an increase of the constant of gravity, or a slight change in the rotation of the earth--would cause all the moisture to condense at once and flood the town and soak all the people, except the delicate little ladies that had been using umbrellas to block the sun—they’d be dry. But the rest of us would be up to our ankles in water until the water was drained away and we’d be left with a crisp cool air and blue skies with no haze. My kindergartners would be standing up after having been gently put to the ground and I could turn my air conditioner off. And I wouldn’t sweat.

You're Welcome: How's the Weather?

Dear American in Geoje,

I have no idea what the weather is going to be like day to day.  I ask the Korean women I work with, "Should I bring an umbrella tomorrow?"  They always say,"Yes."  They say this even if its a nice day!  I'm so confused.  The English sites I've found only have information for the big cities.  Where do I go for weather information for Korea?

Thanks in advance,

Always Dry

I've been there.  About the umbrella thing: Korean women often use umbrellas to keep the sun off their faces.  This keeps them looking as white as possible.

As for the weather information, go to Naver.  If you go to http://weather.local.naver.com you'll be greeted with a map.  This will give you an overview for each province.  Click on the province to go to the city level.  On the next page there will be a list entirely in Korean of cities within that province, select yours.

If you can't read Korean, then learn to read Korean!  If that's not an option, then get a Korean to help you, or match up the name of your city from your Certificate of Alien Registration card with the name from the list.

  
For those living in Geoje, here's your ready-made link.

Then, when you find your city, look at the dates for each city.  One forecast day might say: 7월10일.  The "7월" means "7th month" (AKA July).  Then "10일" means "10th day."  So, the forecast is for July 10th.

For those Americans out there, who can't read Celsius, here's a little trick:  go to the Google search bar in your browser (in the upper right corner), or to the Google homepage.  Type in **C in F.  For example, to convert 24 Celsius into Fahrenheit, type in "24C in F".  Then Google spits out the answer:  75.2 degrees Fahrenheit

You're welcome

How to Survive Jangma ‘08!

The Korean press and the ex-patriot bloggers in Korea have focused all of their attention on the pending Mad Cow genocide about to be unleashed against the Korean people. While, it looks like the genocidal beef has been repelled for the time being, another danger has crept up and overtaken Korea: Jangma! (장마)

Jangma! is the deadly monsoon that comes every year. Jagma! takes the shape of a weather front that covers the entire region and brings oppressive humidity, drenching downpours, and gray skies for nearly a month. Those caught unprepared may be washed away. Below are some helpful tips from someone who weathered Jangma! for one (1) season—um last June. Perhaps if you are lucky and you follow my advice, you too, like me, will survive Jangma ‘08!

1. Stock up on umbrellas

You will probably need about 10-12 umbrellas to get you through this rainy time. Why so many? There are three reasons.

First, you will probably want to use at least two umbrellas simultaneously to maximize the shelter and protect yourself from the rain (see 3 and 4 below).

Second, you will probably leave at least one or two behind in a cab or at Dunkin Donuts. Jangma! is sneaky. The rain may stop and maybe even a little sun will shine through so you forget that you had an umbrella. Then just when you’ve left that umbrella behind, the clouds join and you get drenched to the bone.

Third, the wind blows hard. Those of us who have seen the cautionary movie Mary Poppins know what happens to greedy people who cling too tightly to umbrellas. To prevent being carried away by the wind, let go of your umbrella at the first sign of a strong gust. Its better to lost an umbrella and be wet than to lost your life!

2. Make sure to pass out only in well-drained areas.

Jangma! often causes flash floods of streets. The storm drain system, at least in Gohyeon, is very below par. Just last night, as I walked home in the Jangma!, I had to walk over a drunk ajoshi passed out on the sidewalk. At first look, it didn’t seem to make sense. It was pouring rain, and there was this guy, peacefully sleeping off the soju with a little nap in the middle of the sidewalk. Then I realized this guy was a genius.

Water was draining off the sidewalk and into the street and gutter, and thereby minimizing his chances of drowning in a puddle. If you choose to drink yourself to passing out, I suggest you are at least as prudent as that ajoshi. Its better to endure the occasional kick while passed out on the sidewalk than drown in the gutter!

3. Set up a four day pants drying cycle.

You are going to get wet. If wear your pants a few times before washing then take my advice. You will need to implement a four day rotation policy. For example, you wear your Monday pants and despite using two umbrellas, you get wet anyway. The humidity is so high that those pants will take at least four days to dry. So you will need to hang them, and get a different pair on Tuesday.

On Friday, Monday’s pants will be dry enough for you to wear again. Simply repeat the cycle until Jangma 08! has passed us by. Its better to have wet clothes all over your house than get the fungal infections that come with skin that is constantly wet (that could kill you).

4. Protect yourself from acid rain!

The same pollutants from China that cause the Yellow Sands in spring also cause damaging acid rain in during Jangma!—or at least that’s what the Koreans tell me. So, if you do get wet, be careful. Go home immediately and dose yourself with baking soda—this will counteract the acid. Then, wash very well. The acid rain has been linked to male baldness in Korea. Above is a man’s picture before Jangma ‘06! and then after. Disturbing. Its better to be covered in baking soda than to lose your hair and die from the acid rain of Jangma!

5. Never cross the street.

We all know that Koreans are dangerous drivers. However, something happens when it rains: well actually nothing happens, and that’s a problem. See running red lights is one thing, but running red lights in a downpour is another. Lower visibility, oils seeping up from the road, and standing water create dangerous conditions for anyone trying to cross the street. So I recommend that no pedestrians cross the street until Jangma ‘08! has passed. That may sound alarmist, but this is coming from a survivor.

6. Never sleep with the fan on.

I cannot stress this enough. Jangma! makes the air very humid and it is almost impossible to get cool. Many people turn to the use of electric fans to cool the air, or air conditioners to cool the air and suck out the humidity—to their doom! Do not make the mistake that my friends’ wife’s cousin’s friend’s sister made when she fell asleep during the Jangma! in a closed room with the fan on. She never realized her mistake, because she never woke up! Its better to be drenched in sweat, than be cool, dry, and dead!

Final Thought

On that same walk home the other night among the drunk Samsung workers, I realized the great benefit of Jangma!—it washes the sidewalk clean of piss and puke.

Good luck on surviving this treacherous season of Jangma ‘08!

---

Photo Credits:

Umbrellas by ericinrok

Bald guys based on Hair Club for Korean Men by SuzÿQuzÿ

Killer Fan from Extracurriculars

Floating to Work

Yesterday it rained almost all day. The rain started around mignight and went through until about six or seven in the evening. When I was going to school around 1pm, it was a downpour. My house is just up the street. By up, I mean literally uphill. With the rain, and poor storm-water system in Gohyeon, my street became a river. Here's a video I took on my cellphone:

The rainy day also saw kids wearing some funny costumes. Here's Oscar in his rain gear. It sports a clear vinyl visor, and even a space on the back to go over his backpack. Very handy. And the brightness provided safety crossing the street. The pic was also taken on my phone.

Japan Day 4: Me vs. Fujisan

When planning the trip to Japan, my mom brought up a possible climbing of Mt. Fuji pretty early on. I had no idea what I was getting in for. I am out of shape, was ill-prepared, and ill-equipped, but today, I conquered Mt. Fuji. We went up at 11pm, planning on getting to the top to see the sunrise. Fourteen hours later, I finally arrived back at the base station. I came down many pounds heavier because the last three hours were through rain. I was soaking wet in my jeans, shoes, socks, shirt, and fleece sweatshirt.

I have planned out a week-long series on Mt. Fuji that I will begin posting next week. For now, the day-to-day postings about the trip.


My planned titles for the series:

• Station 5, the beginning


• The Outposts


• Strange Pilgrims


• The Visions


• The Summit


• Persistance of Life


• The Descent

For now, enjoy a brief slideshow of some of my Mt Fuji pictures.

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Jangma (장마)

It has been a week since the clear dusk was overtaken by a shadow of gray clouds from the east. The clouds first rolled around the mountains and then over them. By the time the sun had gone down, the entire sky was covered. And so it remains. The end of the world? Nope, just the seasonal monsoon season or jangma (장마).

The land now lies covered in a blanket of muggy moisture. Occasionally, the moisture reaches a critical point and begins to fall as mist--like sweat from above. Then sometimes, the rain gushes down. I've heard we have yet to see the worst of it.

I happen to like rainy weather don't think the rain will bother me much. However, the head and mugginess that often accompany the jangma will not be welcomed. I've heard from past survivors of this annual weather pattern that once the clouds roll in, they don't leave for three or four weeks.

I guess this the price for that amazing spring that has just ended.

The Yellow Sands of Spring

April is the cruelest month, breading
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain...

And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
--from "The Waste Land" TS Elliot

Spring is bringing nature alive here in Korea. The trees are blooming, the greenery is beginning to grow and the ground, and its warming up. However, this weekend, I learned about the curse of spring in Korea: the yellow sands.

I have never heard about this before I moved here. The yellow sands originate in China's Gobi Desert and are best described not as sands but as dust. On Sunday, after a morning of showers, the afternoon cleared up. It was a great day. Then, I took a nap and awoke to an eerie yellow light outside. A yellow fog had engulfed Goeje.

I didn't think much of it. I just chalked it up to the change from a cool morning, warm afternoon, and moisture whatever. I did notice though that my throat was sore and I was coughing crud up.

Today when I asked the students how their weekend was they replied, "Oh, bad. Yellow sand." I did some research. Apparently they can actually be dangerous for people with respiratory problems. Mortality for affected areas goes up 1.7% during times of yellow sand attacks.

Below is a satellite picture showing the progress of a particular dust cloud. Maybe I should invest in one of those surgical masks that people here like to wear...

Never mind. I'd rather cough even to the point of coughing up blood than wear on of those masks.

UPDATE 4/3:
I read a fellow blogger's take on the yellow dust from this weekend. He has some great before/after pics. She lives about 30 miles north of me but the view was about the same--I was just to clueless to take any pictures.

The Storms II: El Nino and La Nina

If you recall my posting on The Storms, a couple weeks ago, I wrote about this couple across the hall and their weekly "blowup" fight. These fights are a regular event and always culminate with one of them being locked out and making noise so the other will let him or or back in.

Last night was the worst. I labeled the post El Nino and La Nina because these people are acting like children--big children. I mean locking the door on someone during an argument? That's something I have to scold my middle schoolers for doing--these people are at least in their late 20s.

Last night, I was awoken at 3:10am by a large boom. In my half-wake state I thought it might have been in my dream, or maybe thunder--although I've yet to hear thunder in Korea. Ten seconds later, there was another boom--the guy across the hall was using the flat of his foot to hit his door as hard as he could.

For the next several hours, there were episodes where he'd come up the elevator, kick the door and shout drunken rants at his girlfriend. After five minutes or so he'd yell at the top of his lungs and then go downstairs. Once, he shouted the whole way down the stairs. I heard is shouts get softer and softer as he descended the stairwell and then get again when he go to the street and I could hear it from my window. Keep in mind, I'm on the sixth floor.

I wanted so badly to go and punch him in the face and tell him to get a motel room for the night. I was hoping that one of my Korean neighbors would call the cops, but I don't think they ever did. My judgment: these Koreans watch too many of their own dramas.

See a MadTV parody below:




Maybe I'll just slap him.

Culture Shock: Spring starts when we say it starts...

In celebration of the beginning of Spring this week, I planned my lessons around that theme: teaching the names of baby animals and some special terms common for spring conversation.

I started my lesson by writing "March 21st" on the board and asked the students about the date. They immediately guessed it was my birthday. They were wrong. Then after a minute of kids shouting out everything from "Halloween" to "today"--despite the fact that I repeatedly reminded them today was the 19th)--I finally wrote "first day of spring" on the board. They looked puzzled and several shouted, "No!"

My Korean co-teacher said, "By the Chinese calendar, spring begins in February." I tried to explain this isn't the difference of the day we divide the months, but the based on the revolution of the earth around the sun. You can't change the first day of spring based on a different calendar...or so I thought.

I read up on Spring and found that indeed it did have different "start" dates based on the culture. Most place it on the vernal equinox (usually March 21st). The Chinese lunar calendar puts the the vernal equinox in the middle of Spring.

Korea: I hear you. Fine, you can claim Spring begins in early February all you want. You are wrong.

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Picture from Wikipedia

The Storms

First, welcome to the fresh site look.

Last night, I had to try to sleep through two storms. Two storms? Yes two. The first was this typhoon like storm that pounded my windows and made my building sway for about ten hours or so. It reminded me quite a bit of the typhoon that I experienced in September. When I woke up, the temperature had dropped at least twenty degrees which is the difference between a light jacket and a coat.

The second storm was a domestic disturbance across the hall. Its almost a weekly occurrence that the couple across the hall will come home drunk. Then after an argument, one will lock the other out. the locked-out person pounds drunkly on the door, rings the bell, shouts, cries, pounds some more, etc. This night was different.

There was a second woman's voice. Around 3:30am I heard the sound of these two women fighting. When I heard one of them get pushed up against my front door, I went to the little video intercom monitor on my wall. The intercom is linked to a speaker/camera outside my door the helps me see and speak to visitors before opening the door. So, I pressed the button and there unfolded a Jerry Springer-esque episode before my eyes.

I couldn't call the police really since i doubt they speak English. Plus, by the time I turned on the monitor, the hair-pulling and screaming was being moved onto the elevator. Even after they guy and his girlfriend got the other woman on the elevator, she came back up, and screamed and kicked his door.

If I hadn't been awake already because of the typhoon, I would have thrown a fit. Standard Korean culture says to look the other way in domestic disturbances--even when a man is hitting his woman in public. Yeah no. I'm not Korean and that's one cultural trait I'm not going to adopt.